As the “greyest” communities in the country, we enjoy access to an exceptional pool of experience and insight. Here’s a sample

By Michael Botner, Dorothy Brotherton, Suzanne Harper, Maureen McEwan, Dawn Renaud and Dona Sturmanis

Thinking Best of the Okanagan, it occurred to us that we should also focus on one of the Valley’s best resources. Whether our elders are recent migrants or Okanagan lifers, they carry with them an astounding array of experiences. These are people with a lot of rubber on the road. And if it’s fair to say that experience is the crucible of wisdom, then there’s much for us to learn from them.
We sent out a call to our freelance contributors, asking for suggestions on the “best oldtimers” they knew. Readers will immediately think of their own list. We’ve chosen to present nine wise owls. Their widely varied careers and volunteer interests have inevitably produced some equally varied perspectives, but each came through with words of wisdom that we’re glad to share. — LC

Marion La Marche
“I never saw marijuana,” says Marion La Marche, 83 (“and-a-half”). “I sat quietly at a table in City Park, and I was shown. All those little green buds.”

The Kelowna senior describes one of her experiences working as a street pastor helping city drug addicts in her late 70s and early 80s on behalf of Evangel Church and Victory Life Fellowship. “I visited the park, talked to and counselled them. With others, we’d take them out for birthdays, get them medical help, get them into organizations like Teen Challenge or Freedom’s Door.”

Retiring at 64 after 30 years in a Vancouver government job, Marion found her second calling as a pastor. “I asked God what he wanted me to do. He told me to go to Regent College (at UBC in Vancouver) and go into ministry.” She became a deacon working with street people.

Marion moved to Kelowna in 1998 and bought a home that quickly developed into a boarding establishment for male truckers-in-training. “I became mother to 105 over the years.” On request, she took in a recovering drug addict and began her work as pastor for more.

These days Marion doesn’t visit City Park in search of addicts. Instead, she corresponds with prisoners, advocates pro-life causes and prays with Prayer Canada at Kelowna City Hall for local government to do the right thing. Her vision includes high quality builders with “decent Christian ethics” and a lakeshore not lined with massive buildings. Marion says, “Farmers should be honoured and wages should be fair.”

Marion, who studies creative writing at Okanagan College to record her many experiences, has an active philosophy: “To take care of myself … I don’t sit back. I get out there and help people.” For everyone else, she advises, “Take care of the less fortunate, fight injustice and support everything good.” — DS

Len Novakowski
Len Novakowski’s fervent wish for the future stems from solid experience on the front lines of the Cold War, the global standoff he calls “the war we won.” Between 1951 and 1963, Len was an elite Canadian F-86 Sabre pilot, flying with NATO in Europe. That’s when the Berlin wall went up and the Cuban missile crisis nearly exploded. Later, Len headed planning for Canadian NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), drawing up strategies for all of North America when the world lived in red-button tension.

Understandably, retirement felt tame. “I’m not very good at entertaining myself,” he admits. Len fills the void with service. He and his wife, Zoria, headed Cancer Society campaigns. For 11 years he served as a Central Okanagan Regional District director, working with an eye to the future. “We need to protect this safe and beautiful place, as more come to live here.”

At age 73, while the old campaigner battles on, he has to face issues of aging. “Getting old isn’t for sissies,” he says. “Aches and pains come along. But you have a choice of what you do and can take your own time.” He advises young people to think ahead. “Live healthy and be safe. From personal experience I know you pay the price in old age for the lifestyle you lived when young.”

It’s a different world today than in Len’s youth. While the nuclear threat may have abated, the specter of terrorism haunts us all. “We have to come to grips with that,” he says. “We have to recognize cultural differences, talk more and fight less.”

Life for young families is tough. “Their challenge is greater than my generation’s,” says Len. “Most of us had one job and a secure pension.” Now he sees their biggest challenge as providing security for their children and retirement. In his own re-retirement, Len champions a new cause.

“We’re trying to stimulate affordable housing in this community. It’s so important for our young families.”

Len knows he was fortunate to do what he wanted to do in life. His personal philosophy: “Religion gives me a solid basis. Family is very important.” — DB

Modesta Betterton
Osoyoos Indian Band elder Modesta Betterton regularly provides opening prayers and the benefit of traditional wisdom at forums and ceremonies, but her passion is to protect and preserve the language of her people. She spent years teaching the Okanagan language and culture to children from kindergarten through high school. When she realized no one could support their language learning at home, she secured a grant and began teaching parents and other adults.

Modesta says her people have always tended to be self-sufficient; families raised cattle and horses to pay the bills while living on homegrown produce and wild game. Today, like most communities, their economic well-being depends on employment.

The Osoyoos Indian Band’s businesses provide important opportunities, especially for youth — many of whom are pursuing post-secondary education and returning to an optimistic future. The other major challenge Modesta sees facing today’s youth is the universal scourge, illegal drugs.

What hasn’t changed in Modesta’s lifetime is society’s need for respect and personal responsibility. She says these should be learned first in the home. “We must start when children are little, teaching them to show respect for everyone, in everything they do.”

Parents need to take back responsibility for the household — why, she wonders, would a two-year-old need to “decide” what’s for breakfast — and we must all take responsibility for what goes on in our lives. Most of us, she points out, could let something in our past become an excuse. “I don’t believe in hiding behind anything,” she says. “Your life is your own, and you live that life the best way you can.”

Modesta freely admits her age, but had second thoughts about putting it in print. She figures she’s good for another 30 years of both learning and teaching — “you never stop learning. I feel I could go on for another hundred years” — and she doesn’t want ageism getting in her way. — DR

David Bowden
Despite the challenges of aging, David Bowden, at 80, has not lost his love of learning nor his passion for passing it on. “We slow down and get tired faster,” he says. “But a positive attitude and enthusiasm go a long way to build you up and keep you going, despite setbacks.” David draws his personal philosophy from Robert Louis Stevenson’s creed for positive living.

That creed and his passion for knowledge have taken him a long way from his childhood growing up on a ranch near Keremeos. When David joined the Agassiz Experimental Farm in 1952, after graduating from UBC with a degree in animal science, he fully intended to return to farming. But he developed a strong interest in agricultural research and that became his life for the next 39 years.

Along the way, he completed his post-graduate education at UBC and the University of Oregon; worked at research stations throughout Western Canada including the Summerland Research Station, where he assumed the directorship from 1985-1989; published 27 research papers; and accepted assignments in Iran, England and Pakistan. The international experience “aroused a keen interest in travel and learning about the world” that followed David into retirement.

Since 1996, David has participated in the Society for Learning in Retirement (SLR) — “a great organization for stimulating seniors.” He has conducted courses on dry land farming, the impact of climate change and international politics, all matters of concern for the future of the planet.

David is a member of Probus, a fellowship for retired professionals, and he volunteers at the hospital. “Being around people, spreading love to many people is a key to stimulating the mind and staying healthy,” he says.

On the other hand, he believes that quiet time is also important. David fears that society expects too much of young people today. “There is too much pressure to succeed.” He looks at his own two son’s families and says, “Instead of relaxing, they are always on the cell phone or BlackBerry. They need time to sit and contemplate.” — MB

Shirley Ehlers
Retired nurse Shirley Ehlers has spent a lifetime putting her philosophy into practice. The great granddaughter of pioneering Overlander, Catherine Schubert, Shirley comes by her compassionate nature and work ethic honestly. Growing up in a time when people relied on one another, she knew early on that helping others would become her way of life.

Shirley was the driving force behind the Meals on Wheels program in Kamloops, which she helped initiate in 1964. Years later, after retiring, she helped launch Wheels to Meals, a program for Sorrento seniors. She has sat on numerous committees, given her time to service clubs and always been willing to lend a helping hand to family and friends.

This octogenarian’s mindset is that it’s better to give than to receive. “Be more compassionate to your fellow man,” she advises, feeling that such compassion is often lacking in today’s rapid-paced society. “Don’t always race for the biggest money — do what you enjoy and don’t give up, follow it through.”
Shirley walks the walk. Since moving to Salmon Arm in 2000, she has continued to touch the lives of many, helping at Interior Health’s baby and flu clinics and volunteering at the Salmon Arm Seniors’ Activity Centre. As president of the original building committee, this project has been her most rewarding. Volunteer run, the centre provides games, meals and a welcoming atmosphere — for now at least.

“When you get to be my age, you want to tap in to all these services,” she says. “But the younger people aren’t volunteering and this is the problem the service groups are having.”
Despite her reservations for the future, Shirley takes pride in this achievement. “It gives me great joy to see how the senior centre has grown. It’s nice to know when you’ve made a difference in the community.” — MM

George and Trudy Heiss
George and Trudy Heiss, founders of Gray Monk Estate Winery, know about working long and hard to turn a vision into reality. But they’ve always maintained a sense of humour that reveals their genuine side and puts people at ease. “Welcome to Jurassic Park,” says George, referring to the two “old fossils” — George will be 70 on Christmas Eve, Trudy a fraction younger.

Although the couple met in Edmonton, where they worked as popular hairdressers, they were both immigrants from Europe (George from Vienna, Trudy from East Germany) and they grew up with wine. Trudy’s father, who purchased land in Okanagan Centre (Sleepy Hollow) in the 1960s, suggested a career change and they bought 20 acres in 1972. Trudy drove a tractor while George filled a ravine with rocks that littered the vineyard. To pay the bills, they continued hairdressing by day, running back to do field work in the evening.

In September, George and Trudy celebrated the grand opening of a new Rhine castle look-a-like facility with four generations of the Heiss clan. Gray Monk now employs their three sons, but there was no sense of entitlement here. “With our family, we sent them out into the cruel world so they could develop their strengths before bringing them into the business,” says George, who remains active in the operation along with Trudy.

“The moans and groans get louder. But we don’t dwell on our aches and pains. What I always say is, ‘what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.’ When a part (hip, knee) wears out, just replace it and get back to work,” says George. “We’ve cut back, but have no intention of going away. Retirement would drive me nuts.” — MB

Beryl Itani
Beryl Itani knows a little something about volunteering. She’s Emergency Social Services (ESS) director for the Central Okanagan Regional District — a volunteer position that means a lot to our community.

During the 2003 Kelowna and 2009 West Kelowna fires, Beryl was everybody’s mom. When thousands streamed from their neighbourhoods, chased by flames, Beryl pulled together reception centres, organized volunteers, kept track of people, pets and places, matched homeless with shelters, found beds for weary bodies, fed the hungry and smiled.

Beryl was named Kelowna’s Woman of the Year in 2004, following her care of 30,000 evacuees. This year’s fires dropped 17,000 more on her doorstep and still she smiled. She’s clocked 27 years with ESS and ran Kelowna’s Snowfest for decades.

Now 71, Beryl doesn’t see anything in her age to slow her down. “I’ve never been this age before, so it’s new and exciting. It’s just a number. If you keep active you don’t feel it.”

But there are things that disturb her. Beryl sees young families facing the hard challenge of needing two incomes to stay afloat. In the Okanagan she says, “We see more families going to food banks than ever. We have to step up to the plate.”

She points out that Canada still doesn’t spend seven per cent of its budget on the poor, a challenge issued 40 years ago. “Kids who don’t eat properly, have good homes or education — it’s appalling in this wealthy country.” And it doesn’t stop at our borders. To Beryl, this is a global issue.

“Children are tomorrow’s leaders. How will they ever be able to lead without food, education and housing?” — DB

Ross Fitzpatrick
Retiring from the Senate at the mandatory age of 75 has meant shifting gears for D. Ross Fitzpatrick. “I don’t have to climb on a plane 25 weeks a year,” he says, with little regret. “Now I have more time for regular exercise and reading my favourite books, like Ted Kennedy’s recently published memoir.”

The freedom also allows him to work closely with son Gordon at the family winery, CedarCreek, and make sure that long-term environmental concerns are addressed properly on the Greata Ranch project in Peachland. He also plans to be more involved in promoting one of his favourite causes, the creation of a new national park in the South Okanagan Similkameen. “Despite opposition, we’re making progress with 95 per cent in favour of the idea,” he says.

In 2009, Ross was awarded the Order of British Columbia, largely for his work on environmental and First Nations issues. Working with the Westbank First Nation, he backed the bill in the Senate that gave the band self-government, the first agreement of its kind in Canada. He also played a key role in the acquisition of Spotted Lake, a sacred and culturally significant site in the Lower Similkameen Valley, by the federal government for the Okanagan Indian Band.

Concern for the environment started early in Ross’s business career. As founder of Viceroy Resource Corp., he owned a gold mine at Castle Mountain in California, which was cited by the U.S. Bureau of Lands and Management as a model for its efforts to reclaim the desert, changing the face of open pit mining.

When Ross talks environmental issues, he speaks not only from the experience of a successful career in business and politics, but also as an Okanagan boy who grew up in orchards and packinghouses. “It is harder for young people to enjoy the natural things around them because there is too much pressure,” he says. “Life is too complicated.” However, cautions the pragmatic idealist, “If we don’t protect the environment, the economy will suffer.”

The senator doesn’t have a lot to say about aging, except that, “I make the most of my age.” What does come through loud and clear is that he is happy to have returned to his roots in agriculture and takes great pride in the wine business he created. “You can take the boy away from the country, but can’t take the country away from the boy.” — MB

Margaret Lunam
Margaret Lunam lives the counsel she has for others. The 88-year-old says, “I encourage seniors to keep active and keep challenging their bodies.”

The long-time student and teacher of Iyengar-style yoga, Margaret was part of a team that founded the Kelowna Yoga House on St. Paul Street and she still practices at home. In fact, she keeps her mat and props set up in her dining room.

“I do yoga so I can do some of the other things I want to do.” The other things include swimming in Okanagan Lake 30 minutes most days during the summer and walking the rolling terrain of Knox Mountain Park in cooler weather. She is a member of the Kelowna Film Society, an avid CBC2 listener and spends time exploring modern classical music.

Margaret can’t do quite as much as she used to and sometimes loses thoughts and words into what she calls “the two minute hole,” but with age, she says, comes perspective. One advantage of having lived to 88 is achieving equanimity — not letting things get to her.

Don’t confuse equanimity with complacency, though. Margaret has been an environmental activist for many years. She’s a dedicated recycler and drives a Smart Car. Her house borders Knox Mountain Park, a place she has fought hard to preserve.

Concerned about the future of development on the waterfront, Margaret is also a realist. “The future of Kelowna belongs to a different generation,” she says. “It’s important for young adults to become informed; otherwise, they could be making choices that will have results that may later be regretted.”

While Margaret is leaving Kelowna’s future to the next generation, she’s taking care of herself. “I won’t be here forever but while I am here I want to be as healthy as I can.” Advice we should all take to heart. — SH